October 2011
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purposely driving slower when being tailgated
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depressing things on my dashboard.
get that shit outta here, i use the internet for looking at funny things, not sad things
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September 2011
done with jokes for now. time to go running before band
When geese migrate south, they make a v-formation....
because there are more birds on that side
What's the difference between a rock and jupiter?
one is an enormous planet made out of gases
and the other is a rock
How are a plum and a rabbit similar?
therealgiovanni:
They’re both purple except for the rabbit.
So a little girl walks into a bar
and she is immediately asked to leave because she is under aged.
Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today?
because he had his legs amputated. he’ll never ride his bike again.
How do you confuse a blonde?
paint yourself green and throw forks at her
What did the blind deaf mute get for Christmas?
cancer
What did one barstool say to the other?
Nothing. Inanimate object can’t talk.
Why did the child drop his ice cream cone?
because he was hit by a bus
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
“Where’s my tractor?”
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I am schizophrenic
And so am I
What's big, wet, and yellow-ish green at midnight?
I don’t know. That’s why I was asking.
MORE LAME JOKES
What do you call a black man on the moon?
an astronaut
What's green and has wheels?
grass
i lied about the wheels
jamaicabobsled:
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks “Why the long face?”. The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables
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